After my latest post on Jack's firsts (read it here if you don't know what I'm talking about), I expected this post to revolve around my complete feelings of inadequacy as a mother to boys. Unfortunately my second day home with the daring duo has done nothing but confirm my feelings of inadequacy as a parent in general. Sam's teething means no sleep for him unless mommy holds. If he were an only child this would prove difficult; as the youngest of two this is simply impossible. Consequently he spends a good portion of his day crying...strike that...SCREAMING is a better word choice there.
Jack is...Jack. After speaking with some friends of mine, it seems that three is worse than the terrible three's. I used to wonder why I didn't know that, why there isn't some catchy name for three. Now I know...these mommies are locked in their houses trying not to let the world find out their children have been replaced with devil people. Today was our playgroup and it was the Pearson family's first venture out since last summer. We became today, THAT family. You know the one...the one with THAT little boy and THAT discipline. It didn't matter what I did, time-out, loss of privilege, spankings...NOTHING changed the behavior. I realize in hindsight I should have left but playgroup is as much for mommies as for kids...and I lost sight of things I suppose. Jack ran from me, laughed at me, spoke in gibberish (think Billy Madison), hit me, screamed, cried...everything but listen and do as he was told.
Now that he is in his room -- I need a break -- I am terrified. I just committed to doing THIS forever. I didn't make it 48 hours...now what? Of course everything I should have done is running through my head but none of that came to me in the moment. I want to be one of those moms who regardless of her child's behavior is calm and collected. I was angry and frazzled and just about everyone at the pool knew it. The worst part...I am so embarrassed. I pride myself on Jack's behavior. Yes I am hard on him but I see what happens every day when parents weren't hard on their kids...or when parents decided to be hard on kids a little too late. I'd rather be hard on him now than have an out of control teenager. But now I know that the other mommies I see on a regular basis think my kid is out of control and that I have no discipline. Uggghhh... I hate this.
All I can do is listen to my friend Hannah in my head...this too shall pass. I just hope it passes quickly....
1 comment:
I say that over and over... this too shall pass! Noah is an extremely difficult and strong willed child. He is THAT child on a daily basis. I used to be mortified when going out in public but I've learned to care less what other parents think about me. I used to judge parents whose children were crazy... whoa have I ever been humbled! Mommyhood is the most challenging thing I've ever done but those rare moments when I see a glimpse of the fruit of my labor makes every moment worth it. Just know that every mommy has those days when we need 'timeouts.' My mom always says 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.' Well, we are gonna be superman soon!
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