One day I'll look back...

I'm sure that one day I'll look back on days like today with fondness and smile a nostalgic smile...

...but right now, here where I live, you know in the present, days like today just make me shake my head...

...because Sam yanked a little girl off one of his toys by her ponytail and then shot another little girl in the head with a nerf dart at point blank range (at least that one was an accident...he doesn't have the best aim).
...because Jack insisted on discussing the merits of Kay Bailey Hutchinson's new campaign over a meal of Chicken McNuggets and then proceeded to laugh at his brother's flatulence.
...because Sam is sporting his Mickey Mouse pj pants and crocs as part of his ensemble, changing him wasn't worth the fight.
...because Jack is genuinely upset he has yet to have his "talk" with dad about breaking his brother's toy (only because he's anxious to know how much money a replacement toy is going to cost him)

... because, most of all, these days that don't feel all that unique or special, that feel crazy and insane and exhausting are my life ... wrapped in dirt and sticky kisses, my beautiful, wonderful life.

3AM Musings

** Updated to correct The Fonz -- it's HENRY not HARRY. Thanks Celesta for catching my goof.

Wanna know what I think about as I feed my sweet little girl in the wee hours of the morning? I thought you might...

-- I wonder what it's like to be Henry Winkler (you know -- The Fonz). What's it like to walk through life knowing that in your career you were part of creating an iconic American character? More than that Happy Days made infamous the idea of "jumping the shark." And who did the jumping -- Henry Winkler of course! He has attached to his mantel of self both the cool character of The Fonz and the less than desirable images of jumping a shark on water skis. I wonder if that bothers him or if he considers it an honor or if he doesn't even think about it.

-- I wonder if other people's kids have "poop buttons." We have discovered that all of our kids will poop almost as if on command if you poke their belly buttons. Do other people's kids do that? Or does is it simply a correlation between my kids and their outie belly buttons? Which brings me to another question. What, in the general population, is the prevalence of outie belly buttons? Is it 50/50 or is it like being left-handed, far more rare than having an innie? And if it's rare -- what are the odds that all three of my kids would get an outie? Does the combination of Luke's and my DNA result in conditions ripe for outies?

-- I wonder if other people's kids eat like barracudas...

Some days...

Some days, regardless of how pretty your tutu may be, you just feel like this...

My favorite Christmas album

My very favorite Christmas album is Todd Agnew's Do You See What I See. While not traditional in the Bing Crosby sort of way, the album is perfectly centered on what is the real theme of the season -- the birth of Christ. Each song is written from the perspective of someone who witnessed the arrival of Christ (the innkeeper, Joseph, the angels, etc). The remarkable nature of the album, it's star-quality if you will, is the truthful portrayal of each "character" (this transparent truth is something we've come to expect from Todd -- while not always popular ideas, he never shies away from the tough stuff). Consequently, as the listeners, we are reminded that the inn was not full to capacity but that Mary and Joseph weren't the "right" kind of people. We experience Joseph's trepidation in beginning the journey that was raising Emmanuel. We feel the electricity of Simeon when his dream of meeting Messiah comes true. And we dance, full of ecstasy, with the heavenly hosts as they shout Glory to God.

So while traditional caroles have their place in the singing of the season, if while you are out and about you have a moment I suggest you pick up a copy of Todd's cd. Its a nice way to focus of the who and the what and perhaps most importantly the why of the season in the midst of all the hustle and bustle.

Listen to samples of the songs here

Handmade from the heart

This year I am in love with handmade gifts. Unfortunately, unless my friends and family want to listen to me talk I don't really have a whole lot to offer. I'm not what you might call "talented" -- at all. It's embarassing really. To make up for my shortcomings I spend hours browsing etsy Every now and then I find weird things -- like the fake, gold-plated dog poo in the shape of a heart (no, no, not kidding -- I really did find this). But sometimes I find some super cute things that I can't wait to snatch up and give as gifts. Even better, I can search for local artisans and support people in my own community. By shopping for these custom, one-of-a-kind pieces I can ensure a level of quality that is often missing in the mass produced items; I can support the "little guy" and I am able to wrap up a gift that really is for the recipient -- these gifts aren't just a good fit, they are perfect-made-to-order-awesome wrapped in a box!!

One shop I really want to brag on is Misty's Blessings. In addition to being my best friend (0ften a full time job in itself!), Misty creates wonderful handmade items for babies, moms and young kiddos. I really wish I had a little girl to buy for this Christmas -- Misty's aprons are too cute! Complete with places for crayons, these reversals gems are precious.

Grace has a pair of adorable baby shoes from Misty's shop (and I can't wait to buy her more!) and a doll quilt embroidered with her name. Since Grace is closer to actually being a doll than playing with a doll we use the quilt as a car seat blanket for now.

I know what you're thinking -- She's my friend so of course I think her stuff is great and I'm just doing a plug because she asked me to. Not true. Misty didn't ask me to write anything and I'm not the only one who thinks her stuff is great -- items are flying off her virtual etsy shelves!!

Go check out her shop on etsy here and see what she has to offer. Consider handmade and heartfelt this Christmas season.

And the final diagnosis is...

After almost 36 hours in the NICU at Texas Children's Hospital Grace was discharged and given a clean-ish bill of health. While not completely 100%, she improved dramatically since her arrival there and the doctors were convinced she was okay to go home. Grace's lethargy and refusal to eat led doctors to worry something sinister may have been going on. After a full sepsis work-up including blood cultures, a lumbar puncture and several nasal washes it was determined that Grace has RSV. After several hours of IV fluids and antibiotics (just in case), Grace began to perk up and return to her active little self. She is now a-okay and recovering from RSV. She is eating like a champ, up 6 ounces from Thursday to weigh in at 8lbs even. She is still coughing and has some wicked nasal congestion but she is on the mend and should be better soon!

Here we go again...

Well this post brings poopie news -- Grace is back in the NICU. Here's the updates post...read the bottom for the most recent news.

* Sunday PM, Grace developed a cough; by Monday AM we decided to go to the pediatrician as a precaution -- we wanted to avoid RSV hospitalization. We saw a new doctor in the practice, henceforth known as Dr. Evil, and were told "chest is clear. all is well."

* As the week progressed Grace's cough worsened and she developed a snotty nose.

* By Wednesday PM it was becoming difficult for Grace to catch her breath during her extended coughing spells. She began to sleep for longer periods of time and she began eating less.

* Wednesday overnight we had to wake Grace for her to eat at midnight and then she only ate about half her normal. She slept through her 3AM feed (and so did I). I had to wake her at 730AM Thursday to feed her. She nursed about 3 minutes, began to cough and then vomited. At that point I called the pediatrician.

* We saw a different doctor in the practice, henceforth known as Dr. Awesome. Concern was raised at the level of congestion Grace exhibited as well her rapid respiration rate. Dr. Awesome did a rapid flu test. It returned positive and we were sent to Texas Children's.

* TCH ER docs did a lumbar tap, catheter, blood cultures and nasal wash. Based on Grace's level of lethargy the decision was made to admit to NICU -- at least 2 days while we wait on cultures.

* Rapid result flu test done at TCH returned negative -- but given the previous positive test, we have to wait on the blood test to return for a solid diagnosis. Rapid result RSV test returned positive. Thursday PM -- we're bunking down for the night. Grace is in an isolation room in NICU level 2. There was talk about discontinuing the IV fluid but nothing has happened yet. Plans for the night -- hold our baby girl.

* Friday AM -- doctor came by this morning. IV fluids have been discontinued. Grace has been waking on her own every 2.5-3 hrs to feed. She is anything but lethargic! Still being given antibiotics as a precaution while we wait on cultures to return. based on the rapid improvement we've seen, there is talk that Grace could be discharged late this evening. doctor said there is no point keeping her here waiting if she is improving. currently he is attempting to figure out a way to get a follow up done once the cultures come back (tomorrow) since he won't be here. once the logistics are figured out we should have a firm decision on discharge.

* Friday PM -- doctor just left our room. Because Grace is a rock-star eater and is getting livelier by the moment she is being discharged this evening. We will wait for one more dose of antibiotic at 930pm and then we will be free from this place! I have to call back Sunday afternoon/evening to follow-up on the cultures but doctor did agree that there is no point in waiting in the hospital while things may or may not grow.