This entire adoption process has been a serious lesson in waiting. Can I just say that? We knew it would be but knowing it and living it are two very different animals y'all. I'll admit freely that I haven't handled Isaac's leaving very well. I had a difficult time staying engaged in life and focused a lot of energy on surviving not thriving. I was also exercising some M-AA-JOR spiritual disobedience. My human ignorance logic-ed that since the last time I was obedient things got gross and since I don't do willful disobedience well I'd just avoid hearing from God so I wouldn't be asked to do something I didn't want to do. Smart plan, huh? I can feel the tsk's from here from some of you. That's okay, I want to be honest about this entire process. Fortunately for me, God is truly a lover of my soul and so he pursued me, calling me ever-so-gently back into the thick of things. His grace was bountiful in my pain and so forgiving of my disobedience. And now, friends, it's time to engage.
For the remainder of May our foster will stay "closed" as we wait to hear some news (any news at this point) regarding 7 different straight-adopt or legal-risk placement cases for which we've submitted our home study. Supposedly it would take 30 days to hear anything but we've come to learn, again, that timelines mean a whole heapin' helping of squat in the world of CPS. Assuming we don't hear anything by May 31st, we are opening our home to foster placements June 1st. This is when I think we'll actually get kids. While I've run from foster care since Isaac left, as God has been gently righting my upturned vessel he's been reminding me of His original call. Luke and I feel very strongly that we've been called to foster care. We don't want to be forever foster parents but our hearts bleed for those kids, so often forgotten by everyone. We are committed to being foster parents who are willing to adopt, even if that means we lose more placements. That's a hard pill to swallow friends.
So that's where we are -- for the next 8 days we'll stay closed to foster placements. We hope to hear something positive on the permanent placements in that time. But if we don't, foster care here we come!
Be praying for our little family. We are ready for more kids but I'm nervous about the effect of losing another placement. We are going to change, slightly, the approach we take in weaving this family together this time.
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