D-Day is quickly approaching -- discovery day that is. I'm almost crazy with anticipation about finding out Chicken Tart's gender. (side bar -- Jack decided that we should name the baby Chicken Tart. Since I couldn't think of anything else to call it we went with Chicken Tart or CT for short). But it seems that there is also a strange and rather unexpected emotion bubbling under the surface. The more people ask about CT the more I encounter those individuals that make me want to plan a trip to the hills for that date in July, taking with me the revelation we discover. I call them the Girl Group. The Girl Group consists of individuals who obviously have a preference for this baby's gender -- as if they get a say. The only questions asked by this group revolve around girls -- names, nurseries, clothes, etc. If a member of the GG happens to ask about boys the change in tone and facial interest is remarkable, seeming to be more out of necessity than actual curiosity. The members of the GG often make comments about how I "deserve a girl this time" as if I did something bad to get the two boys I already have; they say things like "hopefully this time it's your girl" as if the first two children were pulls from God's great grab-bag that simply didn't work out in my favor, as if all women are entitled to having a daughter.
What scares me the most about the Girl Group is the fear of disappointment I can see hiding behind their fake "what if it's a boy" smiles. (which by the way -- when I hear that question I have to choke on the urge to answer "well I guess we'll shove him back in there and try to pull out another.") The news of this pregnancy wasn't met with complete joy -- there were more than a handful of people that were less than excited. Facing that realization, having the joy of the moment sucked out was brutal. I don't want to do that again. I don't want to announce July 15th "It's a boy!" only to be met with pity smiles and comments like "well at least you don't have to buy more clothes". No sentence should start "well at least" when referring to the upcoming arrival of a new life. We went into this pregnancy honestly expecting a boy; precedent has been set after all. We didn't have this baby to try to get a girl; we're having this baby to grow our family. Truly if we find out we're expecting a 3rd boy we will be thrilled -- we're already talking about the 3 amigos. If it's a girl we'll be equally excited. The only reason we are finding out gender early at all is so we can put a name to the little person wiggling around in my mid-section (a name other than Chicken Tart that is).
So as July 15th approaches I find myself simultaneously wishing the hours would fly by all the while hoping they slow to a crawl. I think I may not reveal right away -- perhaps I'll keep things just to myself, relish and delight in the news for a while before I share things and the new is rubbed off and the joy is tarnished. But then again I've never been good at keeping secrets...
6 comments:
It is crazy how people expect a boy and a girl. As soon as my second son was born people began asking if I planned to try again for a girl. Those people must not realize how amazing it is to have boys. I would love for my husband to have a daughter (though he does not yet know the joy that would bring him), but personally, I would be over the moon if my next two children are boys! Don't let anyone else's thoughts take away from the joy of being pregnant and having another little blessing.
Oh and congratulations!! I don't think I have told you that! Starting August 23rd Ben and I will be in New Ground. I cannot wait to get to know everyone beyond the blogs :)
I got the same reaction in reverse when I was pregnant with Sarah. Everyone who found out "it's another girl!!" would get a forlorn look on their face and say, "oh well, maybe next time." SERIOUSLY?? Drives me crazy!
Oh and, "the three amigos"?? How cute would that be?!
Personally...for others I'm happy for them no matter what they have and honestly don't give much thought as to whether they're having a boy or girl, or what they should have...it will be what it will be and that's fantastic.
For myself...I do really hope I have a daughter. I feel as though a small part of me would always be missing without a daughter to share the joys of womanhood with. I would also feel that way if I never had a son to teach how to treat and love a woman. I have my son...he is amazing. The little light in my life, but there will be a moment tinged with disappointment if we find out the gender of our next baby and it's a boy. Not disappointed in him, but just sad knowing that my "ideal" will never come to fruition. I know it's in God's hands but that doesn't mean that I can't dream of what it would be like. This is why I am thinking about not finding out the gender of our next baby...that way I will never have that moment (and then possibly feel guilty for having that moment the rest of my life). I figure if it's a surprise I'll just be really happy to have my baby safe and sound, boy or girl.
But, I wish your family every happiness...boy or girl...either one will be a great addition to the Pearson Family.
Yes! Finally a post I get to read that you didn't delete first!!!I know how you feel. Especially when the pregnancy is different, and everybody says "oh it must be a girl!" and I had to keep from saying "Suck it!" out loud. Pearson baby #3 will be fearfully and wonderfully made whether he/she has girly or man parts. Whenever I did find out it was a girl, I still mourned not having another boy and not giving Camden a little brother to wrestle with. Frankly I'm scared to death of having a girl because I don't even know how to braid hair well. Isn't that a requirement?!?
By the way, as of 6:30am on the 15th I will be in labor, and the only thing that will keep me getting through those contractions is an email or facebook message update from you telling me what the ultrasound said. So before you crawl into that hole and not tell anyone, take pity on poor little me and send me a message. I'll be too busy breathing through the contractions to tell anyone else. :-) Thank heavens for ITouch and free WiFi!
Haha, am I a GG?? I totally want you to have a girl!! Not because I think the two boys weren't completely and totally made for you, and a third would be as well, but because, despite your best arguments, I think you'll be a GREAT girl mommy! That, and if you have a girl, I have more incentive to talk you into having another one with ME! :) Love you girl, and if you hold out, you know I'll be AT YOUR HOUSE waiting for the news ;)
Oh, and by the way, I got the other opposite reaction, I totally wanted a girl 2nd (for C to have a sister, then to try for a little man), and when I told people and they said, "Yea! One of each" I did the polite smile, then rolled my eyes. But of course, as soon as that wore off, I was super excited and wouldn't change anything! I'm already getting glimpses into the type of mom C will be :)
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