Your challenge, should you choose to accept it: find me a Biblical citation that specifically mentions the speed limit and consequences for breaking it.
I don't claim to be a Bible scholar but I'm fairly certain that no such passage exists. Then why in the world did I bring it up? Good question -- glad you asked. My mom has a good friend who played an important role in my life; this particular woman decided years ago that the Holy Spirit was convicting her regarding breaking the speed limit. Consequently, she doesn't speed...ever...never. I don't know what aspect of her driving led to the conviction but I don't doubt it's validity. Now I know that just because we receive conviction from the Lord there is no guarantee that we will find direct confirmation in the Word; but then again I also know that one of the ways to stay in touch with God is through prayer and the study of His word. So while the speed limit may not be mentioned I would feel comfortable in making the inference that somewhere this particular lady found a scripture that confirmed the root of her problem and led to the decision not to speed. And the point of this is...?? Her story keeps finding it's way into my conscious thought of late because it seems I find myself in the same conundrum -- except not about speeding...God hasn't said anything about that yet (either that or I'm too thick to listen...)
Now pregnant with our third child (groan...another pregnancy post...) I find myself in a position I never imagined -- beyond the norm. I have more than the 2.14 children that is the average (resisting the urge to make partial child joke...oh and I completely made that average up). Truthfully I assumed it would be two and done and yet here I sit...growing a third. And all this sitting and growing (haha as if I have a chance to actually sit...) has caused me to begin to think about the concept of birth control. And no, not in a funny way -- although there are days that I get to that point too. And so back to the original challenge; I have yet to be able to find a specific Biblical reference regarding birth control. I can find passages referencing the sanctity of life and the command to be fruitful and multiply but as I sit studying and praying, which for me often looks more like debate (thick-headed, remember?), I find this particular problem still a bit muddled. On the one hand should we choose a permanent birth control option we could continue to grow our family if we desire through adoption. On the other, is it my place to decide to shut down the baby factory, to close that door so to speak? At the same time I have no desire to be the next TLC series, living my life with eleventy billion children (yeah that's a made up number). I also know that I don't have to choose a permanent option -- but at this point in my life I don't think I have the brain space to keep up with something like that (3 kids, remember??).
So here's where you come in -- oh wise counsel that you are. Gimme your thoughts. I've read books, I've studied some of your lives, I've prayed and studied and I still feel far from an answer. Now be very clear -- I am not looking for any specific church's doctrinal teachings nor am I looking to begin a debate; I'm not looking for hypotheticals or ideal situational beliefs. I'm after gut-reactions, true thoughts, conclusions you've drawn or reasoning you've developed based on conversations with God and time spent studying.
What am I hoping for? Certainly not an immediate solution to this question or a specific Bible verse I've somehow overlooked but like the speed limit story I'm hoping to dig through attitudes and mindsets (mine, not yours) until I find the one that's causing me to hesistate in making a move in either direction. Hearing your thoughts and opinions will act as bins allowing me to sort through attitudes much like laundry until I find the one I need -- the one that God zings me and says THAT'S THE ONE WE NEED TO DEAL WITH. And then, hopefully, after several long conversations with Him, I'll be able to arrive at a decision.
What a muddled mess that post was! Hopefully you can see my heart through the jungle of words...
*** Yes I purposely left Luke and his position/thoughts out of this -- those conversations and their fruit aren't fodder for this...just dealing with myself on this one.
11 comments:
Well, I certainly don't claim to be a Bible scholar but since you asked for opinions I'm happy to share mine. I've used the pill for several years because we weren't ready to start a family, and sometimes I would feel a nagging guilt for being on the pill as if I might be hindering God's plan for our future family. However, how many people do I know who have gotten pregnant despite their birth control efforts? Plenty. How many people try to get pregnant and can't? Plenty. And there is that one story in the Bible about a young woman who was using the *ultimate* form of birth control, abstinence, and God was able to make sure His plan worked out in spite of that ;) So, I figure that God's in ultimate control when we are using birth control and when we're not, and I have stopped worrying about it. And we're excited for y'all!
I am anxious to hear the comments that you get because I am Right. There. with. you! I still don't know what to do. I've examined arguments on both sides, tried to find scripture that mandated what I should do and talked to God about it and still don't have an "answer." Gimme yours ; ) I always thought I would "know" when our family is complete. That's a big laugh. Depends on how hellacious my kids were that day ; ) Somedays I think yes, some days I don't know. I need a more concrete answer than that. But how do I proceed in the interim...the waiting for an answer? Oy...
I use the pill...mostly for medical reasons which I currently choose not to discuss in a public forum, but I need it nonetheless. However, if it weren't for those medical reasons I would still choose to do it. I like to be responsible about my pregnancies...getting pregnant when I want to and not by accident. You can always get off of birth control if you want to have a child and although it can further a couple of medical conditions it actually helps most of them. There are soooo many options out there too anymore. Pills, patches, little things inserted under the skin of the arm, IUDs...the list goes on and on. Personally I have an irregular cycle so I can never tell when I'm going to ovulate even using the Natural Family Planning so the birth control is a no brainer for me...as far as pregnancy prevention.
Courtney -- BRILLIANT advice!! A unique perspective I'd never considered before -- but will be now!!
*** Disclaimer*** Personal opinion... not meant to offend anyone or say this is the 'right way.' This is just what we feel God has led us to for our family.
We have wrestled with this too... but God has led our family to a personal decision not to use birth control. God is the author and creator of life. Who am I to try and take control of the issue. We have had two miscarriages and know that God's hand was in those. If we had not had those we would not have Jude or Evy. God is bigger than birth control and bigger than circumstances. I do not want to limit Him in any way. We feel that we are to begin the process of adoption soon and know that there are many different requirements... such as the country we are looking at requires the youngest child in your home to be 18 months or older. So we are just trusting God to do as He pleases regarding the timing of our next child. I believe we will try to time things around that 'time of the month' when babies are made... but we were doing when we got pregnant with evy so who knows what will happen. All I know is that this is a much bigger issue than whether we should drink alcohol or get a tattoo... we are talking about human life. He creates us to bring Him glory so who am I to say how many children He desires for our family?
Girls -- these are beautiful. Truly. It's this conversation I was hoping for...honest and truthful answers about God's leading in your lives. What a fabulous (albeit extended) community you create!! Lots for me to consider and ponder and pray over. Keep 'em coming!!
I know you said you wanted to leave Luke out of this, but my answer to you is to do what Luke says. Keep seeking the Lord on this and He will probably speak back to you through your husband (at least He did with me). I'll be glad to share more of my personal experience with you in private. :)
-Andrea
Okay I am going to make this quick... LOL!
I think that God knows and already has plans for your body and how many kids you are going to bring into this world no matter what you do to prevent pregnancy. But it is a different story if they Lord is speaking to you about adoption. I don't think anyone kind give you any advice about what maybe to consider or do or to think on... I think it is the All Mighty who has those answers. LOL!
Truthfully now... I don't think they should have invented that little pill that helps you not to conceive. LOL!
Does this help? Probably not but I love you no matter what you decide ;o).
I thought you were going to have LOTS of babies?
Yep, I'm right there with you. I was on the pill for 4 years (mostly medical reasons, which now, I am fairly certain were 1) in my head and 2) could have been corrected with a healthier diet) and did feel guilty! And got off long before we were 'trying' because I was totally tired of being fat and hormonal....only if I knew then what pregnancy would be like ;).
Anyways, when I read Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book (Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free), I remembering agreeing wholeheartedly with what she said (and used scripture) about God's timing/control of our babies. However, I borrowed the book, and don't own it, so I can't quote it. After I read it, I was all for making lots of babies (and still am), but the word lots has many numbers associated with it :). I'm torn, because I also do not feel led to have 18. I think that is something that God would speak on. But, how do I know if it is 3, 4, 5, or 6?? I don't, so I am still seeking right there with you!!
Love you!
Here's my two cents.. (and I know I don't have any kids, so you can ignore me!) I think women's bodies are cyclical for a reason -there is a miracle of life, but there's no mystery of *how* because women have known since forever how to interpret what's going on with their bodies. I think if we weren't intended to be able to have intimacy without adding children, we wouldn't have cycles that have allowed women to practice some kind of birth control since the very start of inductive reasoning... =)
Oh, and CONGRATULAIONS on #3, I voted for Lydia and Matthew.
I may be completely redundant or against the grain (haven't read the others), but I have always believed that God is bigger than any birth control. If we get a surgical procedure to "ensure" that we won't get pg and God wants us pg, we will be. As long as we are still submitting to "His will be done", we aren't preventing anything that He has deemed. I just also feel that if you ask most of the people from before b.c. with 13 kids, they will not encourage that idea. Their bodies were ravaged, and they didn't get a say.
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