Talking in the bathroom

There it was, in red ink, staring me in the face -- evidence that Jack got another card change today. I hate those little red numbers. Today's offense? Talking in the bathroom. This is the second offense of this kind in a week, the third card change in that time. We draw a hard line in the House of Pearson, especially when it comes to behavior at school and church. Our rule: get in trouble at school, get in trouble at home. The infraction of the day means I'm sitting here trying to come up with an appropriate punishment. I'm at a loss. Oh don't get me wrong -- I have LOTS of punishments I can apply as appropriate sentencing for this crime. But it's really difficult to punish your child for something you don't really understand in the first place.

See I have two main issues with these bathroom-related card changes. First, both incidences were witnessed by another teacher. I'm not saying either teacher is lying or wrong but I do have to question if each has the same standards as Jack's teacher. Do these teachers not allow any talking at all while Mrs. M allows basic conversation but no playing? I don't know. Along that same line, as a teacher, I've always struggled giving consequences for behavior I didn't witness. Sure I'll talk to my kids about the behavior but I've always been a bit wary of applying punishment in that situation. Apparently Mrs. M doesn't share my line of thinking. That last bit isn't really an issue just a pedagogical difference that gets to me a little.

My other issue with the bathroom-related behavior is the expectation in general. Do these teachers really expect 5 year-olds to go to the bathroom, unsupervised, without saying a word to each other? Especially BOY 5 year-olds? Immediately after recess and lunch (when both of the infractions occurred)? I would never even expect my high school students to do that. I'm sure, somewhere, out there in bloggy-world, there is a mom whose 5 year old son would never talk in the bathroom if told not to and I'm sure there is a teacher whose kindergartners would never talk in the bathroom. But in my world that's just not a reality.

And so now I'm stuck. By definition of my own rule, Jack should get in trouble at home for getting in trouble at school. But how do you punish someone when you don't think they deserve it? I'm not sure I can NOT punish him only because of the message of inconsistency it sends. And in the I'm-smarter-than-you-so-I-don't-have-to-listen phase Jack's in, I don't think inconsistency is the best move right now ( as if inconsistency is ever a good parenting move...)

{sigh} I hate parenting days like today...