For those that know me well, it is no surprise that I have struggled with my health for basically my entire life; it began with the Crohn's diagnosis in junior high, the reappearance of a heart murmur that had been supposedly outgrown, then went to pre-eclampsia with Jack and the long-lasting ramifications of that ugly disease. I am once again struggling to control my body processes -- namely again my blood pressure. Having a striking genetic predisposition to the condition, I am ultra-conservative in my monitoring and treatment of it. Long story short after visits to two different doctors I have come to a rather sad conclusion. Modern society dictates that that we should all be doctors. In reality that it is what it seems my physicians expected of me -- for me to walk in and not only talk symptoms but offer treatment solutions as well, you know like in the commercials, "Ask your doctor if drug X is right for you." My response is how should I know? I went to school to become an English teacher -- and I was pretty good at that job. Luke went to school to become a chemical engineer and he is pretty good at his job. Doesn't it seem logical that the same should hold true for a doctor?
Another shocking revelation I had in this entire process was how obsessed we all are with appearance -- even those in the medical community. It's a rather obvious statement that plastic surgeons are obsessed with appearance -- it's what they do. But my general practitioner is an entirely different scenario. For some inexplicable reason I have been unable to lose the baby weight from Sam; moreover I have actually gained about 15 pounds since his birth despite a rather strict diet and exercise regimen (I am determined to get back in my pre-baby pants sooner rather than later). This was actually the impetus for my visit to Dr. N -- why can't I lose weight and why all of a sudden are my feet and hands swollen?? Her response: have you considered lap-band and an anti-depressant? Really??? That's where she went?!! I am not concerned with my lack of weight loss because of appearances. I know that weight is very closely linked with high blood pressure and I know that I am already at risk to develop the condition as I was medicating for it this time last year. My concern for the weight loss was so that I can be healthy and active for my children. But Dr. N seemed only to focus on the aesthetic aspect of my question.
The entire process has been extremely frustrating. As you can see, it's time to find another doctor for me. One who is a little more concerned with health and a little less concerned about her bank account.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
update on the little girls...
Several folks have asked about an update on my friend that is pregnant with twins so here it is...
Alexis was sent home about a week ago on strict bedrest. So far the little girls are staying put. Everyday is a new adventure but things for now seem to be holding steady. I know that Luis and Alexis thank each and everyone of you for your steadfast prayers. Hopefully these little ones won't make a debut until the end of August like they are scheduled to!
Alexis was sent home about a week ago on strict bedrest. So far the little girls are staying put. Everyday is a new adventure but things for now seem to be holding steady. I know that Luis and Alexis thank each and everyone of you for your steadfast prayers. Hopefully these little ones won't make a debut until the end of August like they are scheduled to!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Prayers needed
I know there are lots of prayer warriors out there that occasionally peruse this blog. Here is something I'd like you to dedicate during your next intercessory prayer time.
A couple in our ABF is spending some time at Hermann Hospital in the Med Center. The wife is 29.5 weeks pregnant with twin little girls and is already having contractions. She was transferred from Katy to the Med Center early this morning. Last news was that the contractions seemed to have stopped but no one knows how long that will last. The girls are good sized but they are still really early. I know most of you walked with Luke and me on our prematurity journeys with Jack and Sam and you know how terrifying this situation is. Pray that the girls stay put for a little while longer...at this point every day in utero betters their odds of not only surviving but thriving as well. Pray for their parents, Luis and Alexis -- specifically pray for a peace that passes all human understanding. Pray for the doctors to make the best decisions for all involved.
Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
A couple in our ABF is spending some time at Hermann Hospital in the Med Center. The wife is 29.5 weeks pregnant with twin little girls and is already having contractions. She was transferred from Katy to the Med Center early this morning. Last news was that the contractions seemed to have stopped but no one knows how long that will last. The girls are good sized but they are still really early. I know most of you walked with Luke and me on our prematurity journeys with Jack and Sam and you know how terrifying this situation is. Pray that the girls stay put for a little while longer...at this point every day in utero betters their odds of not only surviving but thriving as well. Pray for their parents, Luis and Alexis -- specifically pray for a peace that passes all human understanding. Pray for the doctors to make the best decisions for all involved.
Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
Thursday, June 5, 2008
As small as a jalapeno seed...
Due to extremely poor scheduling on my part I volunteered to take dinner this week to two different couples in our ABF who recently had babies (our ABF is currently trying to re-populate the earth single-handedly...we have had someone give birth just about every month since we joined over a year ago and we have babies scheduled to arrive through January of 2009 as of now). ANYWAY...due to my poor planning I failed to buy the required amount of chicken at the grocery store this week and found myself chicken-less when starting my own family's dinner this evening. So we did what we always do when a crisis occurs -- we went to Omar's, our family's favorite little Mexican food restaurant. The place is great...good food, nice folks (they taught Jack to say Hola), close to home with good prices. I digress -- Omar's is not the point of this post.
While bathroom-inspector Jack was gone with Luke I lazily stared out the window at I-10. That's when I bit into a jalapeno seed. Anyone who has eaten a jalapeno knows that the seeds are where the real heat is found. That's when I started thinking -- dangerous I know and not something I seem to be doing much of lately outside the realm of menu planning and laundry methodology. Who first decided to pick a jalapeno and eat it? Who, after the initial consumption, decided it was something worth repeating? I am a HUGE fan of jalapenos -- one the few lasting pregnancy side effects that I actually appreciate -- but I don't know that if I had been the first to encounter the pepper it would have it's current renown. Then I began to think how amazing my God is. In his infinite wisdom he not only thought to give my life a plan and a purpose but he cared enough to make the jalapeno. And folks say the devil is in the details -- HA to that one. My God is in the details. He worked hard to make sure there would be a way to make me pure enough to spend time in his presence. Then he worked some more to make sure that every hair on my head was counted and numbered. Then he repeated all of this for all of the people that would ever walk this planet. And sometime in there he had the forethought to create the jalapeno. Are you kidding me??? How awesome is that!! I know this seems silly but it is just one more way God has revealed his eternal nature to me while also gently reminding that through all of my days (be they good or bad) He is forever there -- watching, guiding, teaching, molding, shaping and loving. It is a rather humbling experience; all brought on by a small jalapeno seed.
While bathroom-inspector Jack was gone with Luke I lazily stared out the window at I-10. That's when I bit into a jalapeno seed. Anyone who has eaten a jalapeno knows that the seeds are where the real heat is found. That's when I started thinking -- dangerous I know and not something I seem to be doing much of lately outside the realm of menu planning and laundry methodology. Who first decided to pick a jalapeno and eat it? Who, after the initial consumption, decided it was something worth repeating? I am a HUGE fan of jalapenos -- one the few lasting pregnancy side effects that I actually appreciate -- but I don't know that if I had been the first to encounter the pepper it would have it's current renown. Then I began to think how amazing my God is. In his infinite wisdom he not only thought to give my life a plan and a purpose but he cared enough to make the jalapeno. And folks say the devil is in the details -- HA to that one. My God is in the details. He worked hard to make sure there would be a way to make me pure enough to spend time in his presence. Then he worked some more to make sure that every hair on my head was counted and numbered. Then he repeated all of this for all of the people that would ever walk this planet. And sometime in there he had the forethought to create the jalapeno. Are you kidding me??? How awesome is that!! I know this seems silly but it is just one more way God has revealed his eternal nature to me while also gently reminding that through all of my days (be they good or bad) He is forever there -- watching, guiding, teaching, molding, shaping and loving. It is a rather humbling experience; all brought on by a small jalapeno seed.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
One of those days
After my latest post on Jack's firsts (read it here if you don't know what I'm talking about), I expected this post to revolve around my complete feelings of inadequacy as a mother to boys. Unfortunately my second day home with the daring duo has done nothing but confirm my feelings of inadequacy as a parent in general. Sam's teething means no sleep for him unless mommy holds. If he were an only child this would prove difficult; as the youngest of two this is simply impossible. Consequently he spends a good portion of his day crying...strike that...SCREAMING is a better word choice there.
Jack is...Jack. After speaking with some friends of mine, it seems that three is worse than the terrible three's. I used to wonder why I didn't know that, why there isn't some catchy name for three. Now I know...these mommies are locked in their houses trying not to let the world find out their children have been replaced with devil people. Today was our playgroup and it was the Pearson family's first venture out since last summer. We became today, THAT family. You know the one...the one with THAT little boy and THAT discipline. It didn't matter what I did, time-out, loss of privilege, spankings...NOTHING changed the behavior. I realize in hindsight I should have left but playgroup is as much for mommies as for kids...and I lost sight of things I suppose. Jack ran from me, laughed at me, spoke in gibberish (think Billy Madison), hit me, screamed, cried...everything but listen and do as he was told.
Now that he is in his room -- I need a break -- I am terrified. I just committed to doing THIS forever. I didn't make it 48 hours...now what? Of course everything I should have done is running through my head but none of that came to me in the moment. I want to be one of those moms who regardless of her child's behavior is calm and collected. I was angry and frazzled and just about everyone at the pool knew it. The worst part...I am so embarrassed. I pride myself on Jack's behavior. Yes I am hard on him but I see what happens every day when parents weren't hard on their kids...or when parents decided to be hard on kids a little too late. I'd rather be hard on him now than have an out of control teenager. But now I know that the other mommies I see on a regular basis think my kid is out of control and that I have no discipline. Uggghhh... I hate this.
All I can do is listen to my friend Hannah in my head...this too shall pass. I just hope it passes quickly....
Jack is...Jack. After speaking with some friends of mine, it seems that three is worse than the terrible three's. I used to wonder why I didn't know that, why there isn't some catchy name for three. Now I know...these mommies are locked in their houses trying not to let the world find out their children have been replaced with devil people. Today was our playgroup and it was the Pearson family's first venture out since last summer. We became today, THAT family. You know the one...the one with THAT little boy and THAT discipline. It didn't matter what I did, time-out, loss of privilege, spankings...NOTHING changed the behavior. I realize in hindsight I should have left but playgroup is as much for mommies as for kids...and I lost sight of things I suppose. Jack ran from me, laughed at me, spoke in gibberish (think Billy Madison), hit me, screamed, cried...everything but listen and do as he was told.
Now that he is in his room -- I need a break -- I am terrified. I just committed to doing THIS forever. I didn't make it 48 hours...now what? Of course everything I should have done is running through my head but none of that came to me in the moment. I want to be one of those moms who regardless of her child's behavior is calm and collected. I was angry and frazzled and just about everyone at the pool knew it. The worst part...I am so embarrassed. I pride myself on Jack's behavior. Yes I am hard on him but I see what happens every day when parents weren't hard on their kids...or when parents decided to be hard on kids a little too late. I'd rather be hard on him now than have an out of control teenager. But now I know that the other mommies I see on a regular basis think my kid is out of control and that I have no discipline. Uggghhh... I hate this.
All I can do is listen to my friend Hannah in my head...this too shall pass. I just hope it passes quickly....
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Pick up your cross
Brethren pray for them...
This beautiful family walked into my life this school year. They granted me the privilege of teaching their daughter for a year. Currently they are preparing to return to Kiev, Ukraine, within the week. I am overwhelmed with the burden to not only pray for them but to spread news of their cause to my fellow intercessors.
Be in prayer for this wonderful, beautiful family as they return to Kiev next week. Here is their blog...
http://mcdonnel.wordpress.com/
This beautiful family walked into my life this school year. They granted me the privilege of teaching their daughter for a year. Currently they are preparing to return to Kiev, Ukraine, within the week. I am overwhelmed with the burden to not only pray for them but to spread news of their cause to my fellow intercessors.
Be in prayer for this wonderful, beautiful family as they return to Kiev next week. Here is their blog...
http://mcdonnel.wordpress.com/
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
sooooo close...
Freedom is days away...13 calendar days to be exact...and then I will be done with teaching FOREVER!!!
Uggghhhh...today was one of those days that has zapped every iota of energy I started with, leaving me running on empty before I even get the boys from school.
No real purpose to this post -- just lettin' folks know I'm still around.
Uggghhhh...today was one of those days that has zapped every iota of energy I started with, leaving me running on empty before I even get the boys from school.
No real purpose to this post -- just lettin' folks know I'm still around.
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