This entire adoption process has been a serious lesson in waiting. Can I just say that? We knew it would be but knowing it and living it are two very different animals y'all. I'll admit freely that I haven't handled Isaac's leaving very well. I had a difficult time staying engaged in life and focused a lot of energy on surviving not thriving. I was also exercising some M-AA-JOR spiritual disobedience. My human ignorance logic-ed that since the last time I was obedient things got gross and since I don't do willful disobedience well I'd just avoid hearing from God so I wouldn't be asked to do something I didn't want to do. Smart plan, huh? I can feel the tsk's from here from some of you. That's okay, I want to be honest about this entire process. Fortunately for me, God is truly a lover of my soul and so he pursued me, calling me ever-so-gently back into the thick of things. His grace was bountiful in my pain and so forgiving of my disobedience. And now, friends, it's time to engage.
For the remainder of May our foster will stay "closed" as we wait to hear some news (any news at this point) regarding 7 different straight-adopt or legal-risk placement cases for which we've submitted our home study. Supposedly it would take 30 days to hear anything but we've come to learn, again, that timelines mean a whole heapin' helping of squat in the world of CPS. Assuming we don't hear anything by May 31st, we are opening our home to foster placements June 1st. This is when I think we'll actually get kids. While I've run from foster care since Isaac left, as God has been gently righting my upturned vessel he's been reminding me of His original call. Luke and I feel very strongly that we've been called to foster care. We don't want to be forever foster parents but our hearts bleed for those kids, so often forgotten by everyone. We are committed to being foster parents who are willing to adopt, even if that means we lose more placements. That's a hard pill to swallow friends.
So that's where we are -- for the next 8 days we'll stay closed to foster placements. We hope to hear something positive on the permanent placements in that time. But if we don't, foster care here we come!
Be praying for our little family. We are ready for more kids but I'm nervous about the effect of losing another placement. We are going to change, slightly, the approach we take in weaving this family together this time.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Home is where it's happenin'
I really wanted to title this post "home is where it's at" but I couldn't bring myself to end with "at" -- shivers up my spine and "between the a and t" raced through my brain.
I mentioned in my last post that we have several reasons for homeschooling Jack. "Why?" seems to be the first question I get every time someone finds out about our new adventure, usually preceded by a look that declares me crazy. If I'm going to post about the idea of homeschool then I suppose I should start with the exigence of our decision.
These are in no particular order.
1. Extreme pedogical differences between the public school system administration and me. Remember the issue I had with money for grades at the beginning of the year? There were several instances like that throughout the year. It may sound radical but I think the principal should run the school, not the PTA. And I think the welfare of all students should be important, not just the ones with the most familial support and money.
2. Curriculum differences. Jack began Kindergarten unable to read but able to do multiplication. We didn't teach him to multiply nor did we quiz him on his facts. It's just something he picked up...somehow. When I inquired about accelerated curriculum for Jack in math in September I was told he would need to complete the outlined math and that there might be time at the end of the year for more. All this meant that Jack worked on counting to 10 for more weeks than I can remember. In the same vein, I've been a little concerned that Jack is still switching some of his letters. He's not dyslexic but it seems like this is an easily fixable mistake if it were actually addressed...which it hasn't been. Bottom line -- one size definitely does not fit all and as much as we as educators like to throw around terms like "differentiation", there is only so much a teacher can do with a classroom full of kids. At home we'll be able to accelerate math, work on some problem areas in reading, dig deep into science and actually start language studies (something Jack is BEGGING to do).
3. Jack is a boy. Duh right? The American classroom is not designed for boys. Period. Boys need to run; they need space to stretch those large muscle groups that will make them men. The classroom doesn't provide this for them. In an age of budget cuts and pressure from uninformed sources that our students are poor-performing because they don't spend enough time in the classroom, important facets like PE and recess have been cut or minimized to the point of almost non-existence. Jack, for example, spends the first half of his day in the classroom -- from 815 until noon. Then he's shuttled to lunch, specials (music, art, pe), recess and then back to the classroom for snack. That's just not going work. I recently discovered that he stands up for most of his school work. His body is aching to be used to the point that he can't get himself to sit. Understand me clearly on this point. He does not have ADD/ADHD. This is not a discipline issue. This is an issue of his body and brain needing more full-body exertion to be successful. At home, I can offer him this. We won't have to wait for 15 other kids to get in line to go outside; Jack can just go and run when it's time.
4. The spiritual component is simply not present. Again here me clearly on this point. I am not trying to shelter my child. YES I am trying to protect him. Jack professed his faith in Christ almost a year ago, so yes technically his faith is his to defend. However to say that he is a "baby Christian" is an obvious statement. Just as I wouldn't send my 18 month old baby into a crowd on her own expecting her to navigate the potential dangers found therein, so too we aren't comfortable sending our son into the world to defend his faith. Warriors don't train for battle during the battle. I know this is a point that many will disagree with but remember these are our reasons...not yours.
5. Jack's personal growth needs. This is actually big one. Jack has spent the last year of his life tired. Call me crazy but he has the rest of his life to be tired -- at 5 he should enjoy the rest he needs. He's up at 7, gone all day with no nap, and then under the weight of homework until dinner and then bed at 730. He's exhausted every day. Jack needs more sleep. He needs to option to rest during the day, to unplug his brain and rejuvenate. He also needs the ability to eat on his body's schedule. He needs a morning snack and possibly an afternoon one too. At school he can't get those. At home he can.
And that's it...at least all I can remember right now. I'll post another day about our curriculum choices (that's the part of this I really dig!).
I mentioned in my last post that we have several reasons for homeschooling Jack. "Why?" seems to be the first question I get every time someone finds out about our new adventure, usually preceded by a look that declares me crazy. If I'm going to post about the idea of homeschool then I suppose I should start with the exigence of our decision.
These are in no particular order.
1. Extreme pedogical differences between the public school system administration and me. Remember the issue I had with money for grades at the beginning of the year? There were several instances like that throughout the year. It may sound radical but I think the principal should run the school, not the PTA. And I think the welfare of all students should be important, not just the ones with the most familial support and money.
2. Curriculum differences. Jack began Kindergarten unable to read but able to do multiplication. We didn't teach him to multiply nor did we quiz him on his facts. It's just something he picked up...somehow. When I inquired about accelerated curriculum for Jack in math in September I was told he would need to complete the outlined math and that there might be time at the end of the year for more. All this meant that Jack worked on counting to 10 for more weeks than I can remember. In the same vein, I've been a little concerned that Jack is still switching some of his letters. He's not dyslexic but it seems like this is an easily fixable mistake if it were actually addressed...which it hasn't been. Bottom line -- one size definitely does not fit all and as much as we as educators like to throw around terms like "differentiation", there is only so much a teacher can do with a classroom full of kids. At home we'll be able to accelerate math, work on some problem areas in reading, dig deep into science and actually start language studies (something Jack is BEGGING to do).
3. Jack is a boy. Duh right? The American classroom is not designed for boys. Period. Boys need to run; they need space to stretch those large muscle groups that will make them men. The classroom doesn't provide this for them. In an age of budget cuts and pressure from uninformed sources that our students are poor-performing because they don't spend enough time in the classroom, important facets like PE and recess have been cut or minimized to the point of almost non-existence. Jack, for example, spends the first half of his day in the classroom -- from 815 until noon. Then he's shuttled to lunch, specials (music, art, pe), recess and then back to the classroom for snack. That's just not going work. I recently discovered that he stands up for most of his school work. His body is aching to be used to the point that he can't get himself to sit. Understand me clearly on this point. He does not have ADD/ADHD. This is not a discipline issue. This is an issue of his body and brain needing more full-body exertion to be successful. At home, I can offer him this. We won't have to wait for 15 other kids to get in line to go outside; Jack can just go and run when it's time.
4. The spiritual component is simply not present. Again here me clearly on this point. I am not trying to shelter my child. YES I am trying to protect him. Jack professed his faith in Christ almost a year ago, so yes technically his faith is his to defend. However to say that he is a "baby Christian" is an obvious statement. Just as I wouldn't send my 18 month old baby into a crowd on her own expecting her to navigate the potential dangers found therein, so too we aren't comfortable sending our son into the world to defend his faith. Warriors don't train for battle during the battle. I know this is a point that many will disagree with but remember these are our reasons...not yours.
5. Jack's personal growth needs. This is actually big one. Jack has spent the last year of his life tired. Call me crazy but he has the rest of his life to be tired -- at 5 he should enjoy the rest he needs. He's up at 7, gone all day with no nap, and then under the weight of homework until dinner and then bed at 730. He's exhausted every day. Jack needs more sleep. He needs to option to rest during the day, to unplug his brain and rejuvenate. He also needs the ability to eat on his body's schedule. He needs a morning snack and possibly an afternoon one too. At school he can't get those. At home he can.
And that's it...at least all I can remember right now. I'll post another day about our curriculum choices (that's the part of this I really dig!).
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A plain old boring update
I almost made it two full months without updating, didn't I? Makes sense I would, since I committed to writing something anything everyday for 30 days, hoping to create a habit. It would make sense that I'd forget about this thing completely seconds after making that commitment. I digress. The point is I'm back with a basic, plain, old, boring update.
We'll start with the kids. The gruesome twosome and the princess are all doing well. Jack is about to finish Kindergarten (12 more days!). He loves it, school that is. He was placed in the GT program and started attending a special class for that in March. There he is really flourishing. After watching him all year pull against the reins of public school schedules, we've decided next year Jack will school at home. We have a host of reasons for homeschooling but all boil down to that it just seems like the best fit for Jack and our family. I'll post an entire entry on our reasonings soon, I promise.
Sam is about to finish his first year of pre-school. He is every bit a three-year-old little boy, but don't dare tell him that. According to Sam is on his way to being a grown-up, even doing stretches in the morning to make his legs "grown-up legs" and such. He is perpetually stuck between baby and big boy, never sure whether to stretch his wings (and attitude) or revert to baby talk and lay in my arms. He is still as precocious as ever and has a knack for flashing his perfect smile at the exact right moment to prevent his utter destruction.
Both boys are all-stars on the baseball field. Actually we're just glad when Sam chooses to play and not lay down in the infield like he did one afternoon. He loves the game though and announces at the end of each practice that he "won the game." Jack is truly a good little ball player. He's got an eye for the game and quick reflexes that are paying off in the field. He's a lefty batter which will be nice once he makes it to coach pitch and beyond. I always wanted to push my boys to football but watching how much Jack loves baseball I think I'm going to have to shift that line of thinking a bit!
Grace is...well she's Grace. She is beauty and fire, darling and devil all wrapped up in a blue-eyed, dimple-filled ball of cuteness. She is my little spit-fire. She loves her shoes and having her toes painted, and eating dirt and joining in kung-fu battles with her brothers. She is getting very adept at manipulating the men in life and gets very angry when Mama sees right past those batting lashes and dimpled cheeks. We're still working on talking and I'm hoping to break the pacifier habit soon. She acted, briefly, interested in potty training but that passed as quickly as it appeared.
Let's see...I suppose our housing situation is next. Our house is still on the market, again. We re-listed in April and truthfully we've experienced first hand the dry real estate market as we've had fewer showings this spring than we did in the fall. Hopefully it will sell soon. We haven't really looked at anything new yet, afraid we'll fall in love with something that will be gone before our house sells.
And last the adoption -- it's been almost 2 months since we said good-bye to Isaac. Things are getting a little easier everyday but there are still times we ache for our little curly-headed boy. Currently our foster home is closed. Originally we intended on re-opening May 1st but decided to postpone it in light of some adoption hopes. We've submitted our home study on 7 different cases (some singles, some sibling sets) that are straight-adoptions or legal-risk adoption placements. We've been told it takes about 30 days to match to a child/group of children. Hence the extension of our closed status. We were hoping May would bring news of a permanent adoption placement. So far we've heard nothing. Right now we are set to re-open our foster home June 1st. And that's all I know...
So there you go -- an update! Maybe jumping that hurdle will open the gates of creativity and post after post will come issuing forth. Or maybe I'll just remember from time to time to write a little something...
We'll start with the kids. The gruesome twosome and the princess are all doing well. Jack is about to finish Kindergarten (12 more days!). He loves it, school that is. He was placed in the GT program and started attending a special class for that in March. There he is really flourishing. After watching him all year pull against the reins of public school schedules, we've decided next year Jack will school at home. We have a host of reasons for homeschooling but all boil down to that it just seems like the best fit for Jack and our family. I'll post an entire entry on our reasonings soon, I promise.
Sam is about to finish his first year of pre-school. He is every bit a three-year-old little boy, but don't dare tell him that. According to Sam is on his way to being a grown-up, even doing stretches in the morning to make his legs "grown-up legs" and such. He is perpetually stuck between baby and big boy, never sure whether to stretch his wings (and attitude) or revert to baby talk and lay in my arms. He is still as precocious as ever and has a knack for flashing his perfect smile at the exact right moment to prevent his utter destruction.
Both boys are all-stars on the baseball field. Actually we're just glad when Sam chooses to play and not lay down in the infield like he did one afternoon. He loves the game though and announces at the end of each practice that he "won the game." Jack is truly a good little ball player. He's got an eye for the game and quick reflexes that are paying off in the field. He's a lefty batter which will be nice once he makes it to coach pitch and beyond. I always wanted to push my boys to football but watching how much Jack loves baseball I think I'm going to have to shift that line of thinking a bit!
Grace is...well she's Grace. She is beauty and fire, darling and devil all wrapped up in a blue-eyed, dimple-filled ball of cuteness. She is my little spit-fire. She loves her shoes and having her toes painted, and eating dirt and joining in kung-fu battles with her brothers. She is getting very adept at manipulating the men in life and gets very angry when Mama sees right past those batting lashes and dimpled cheeks. We're still working on talking and I'm hoping to break the pacifier habit soon. She acted, briefly, interested in potty training but that passed as quickly as it appeared.
Let's see...I suppose our housing situation is next. Our house is still on the market, again. We re-listed in April and truthfully we've experienced first hand the dry real estate market as we've had fewer showings this spring than we did in the fall. Hopefully it will sell soon. We haven't really looked at anything new yet, afraid we'll fall in love with something that will be gone before our house sells.
And last the adoption -- it's been almost 2 months since we said good-bye to Isaac. Things are getting a little easier everyday but there are still times we ache for our little curly-headed boy. Currently our foster home is closed. Originally we intended on re-opening May 1st but decided to postpone it in light of some adoption hopes. We've submitted our home study on 7 different cases (some singles, some sibling sets) that are straight-adoptions or legal-risk adoption placements. We've been told it takes about 30 days to match to a child/group of children. Hence the extension of our closed status. We were hoping May would bring news of a permanent adoption placement. So far we've heard nothing. Right now we are set to re-open our foster home June 1st. And that's all I know...
So there you go -- an update! Maybe jumping that hurdle will open the gates of creativity and post after post will come issuing forth. Or maybe I'll just remember from time to time to write a little something...
Friday, April 8, 2011
A story of boo boos
A conversation between Sam and me
Sam: Mom, how'd you get your boo-boos?
Me: I don't have any boo-boos, baby.
Sam: yes you do. how'd you get them? did you fall down? when I fall down I get boo-boos. see this boo-boo on my finger (shows me non-existent boo-boo on pinky).
Me: I see it Sam. Mommy doesn't have any boo-boos though.
Sam: yes you do. when will Gracie get her boo-boos?
Me: well I hope she doesn't get any boo-boos. I don't like it when my babies get hurt.
Sam: M-oo-m. All girls have boo-boos. When will Gracie fall down and get her boo-boos?
Me: (with interest suddenly peaked) Wait, what? Sam, where are my boo-boos that you see?
Sam: sheepishly grins, You know!
Me: (gesturing to my breasts) Sam are these my boo-boos?
Sam: nods in agreement
Me thinks an anatomy lesson is in the very near future...
Sam: Mom, how'd you get your boo-boos?
Me: I don't have any boo-boos, baby.
Sam: yes you do. how'd you get them? did you fall down? when I fall down I get boo-boos. see this boo-boo on my finger (shows me non-existent boo-boo on pinky).
Me: I see it Sam. Mommy doesn't have any boo-boos though.
Sam: yes you do. when will Gracie get her boo-boos?
Me: well I hope she doesn't get any boo-boos. I don't like it when my babies get hurt.
Sam: M-oo-m. All girls have boo-boos. When will Gracie fall down and get her boo-boos?
Me: (with interest suddenly peaked) Wait, what? Sam, where are my boo-boos that you see?
Sam: sheepishly grins, You know!
Me: (gesturing to my breasts) Sam are these my boo-boos?
Sam: nods in agreement
Me thinks an anatomy lesson is in the very near future...
Where we go from here
It's been a week -- almost down to the hour -- since we said good-bye to Isaac. If I'm honest with myself and with others, this is the most painful grief I've ever experienced. Nothing in me prepared my insides for this kind of hurt. The grief is partly exacerbated as I have to watch my babies grieve. It's been terrible. But as I told a good friend, this is grief with hope. Probably the most common question I've been asked in the last week (other than the standard "Are you alright?") is the now-what question.
What follows is a response I penned to the question, "Has God called you to do something that seemed crazy?" -- it was meant to be used as a jumping off point for a lesson on Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac. We were asked to answer that question on Monday but I didn't get around to writing my response until Thursday, the day before we said good-bye to Isaac. While I didn't intend these words to answer the now-what question, I think they do a pretty good job.
God is still moving and teaching us things using the story of Abraham and Isaac but we aren't in a happy place and we certainly aren't in a place where we can say "God called us to do something crazy and it all worked out."
Here's what we do know. God definitely called us on this journey to adoption. We were comfortable before; we had the kids we wanted, they were "spaced" like we wanted, we had the life we wanted. And then God called. And suddenly the life we had was uncomfortable and incomplete because until we surrendered to his new call we were in disobedience. So surrender we did. Losing Isaac is not the end of the journey for us. It hurts and we are grieving but God didn't call us to "just give it a try." He called us to see this journey through to the end. If we view losing Isaac as God withholding the ram then we've lost sight of the sheer omnipotence He possesses. Did we think our time with Isaac would end like this? Absolutely not. I thought God would make a way that we would get to keep him. In my human-ness I thought I knew the mind of God. I'm humbled as I think of what God has for us as we continue down this road. He's taught me more in the last 24 hours about his holiness, about his character than maybe I've ever learned in my entire life.
We have to be careful as contemporary Christians, knowing the full story of Abraham and Isaac. We can't afford to read the story as simply a tale that no bad things will happen, that when we're asked to do the hard things God will change his mind when he sees we're obedient. Of course we can read it and see God's provision and his protection -- the ram in the bush is a beautiful parallel for us to Christ's sacrifice. But we also need to read it in light of Abraham's faithfulness. He didn't know the ram would be there. He didn't know the path his journey would take. But he knew he had to take it. That's where we are, Luke and I. We don't know where we're going but we know that the path has been laid before us. I also know, like Abraham, that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. That he has ordained this journey before he laid the foundations of the earth. While we were surprised that Isaac would have to leave, God wasn't. Which means he knows what lies ahead of us even though we can't see very far past our grief.
What follows is a response I penned to the question, "Has God called you to do something that seemed crazy?" -- it was meant to be used as a jumping off point for a lesson on Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac. We were asked to answer that question on Monday but I didn't get around to writing my response until Thursday, the day before we said good-bye to Isaac. While I didn't intend these words to answer the now-what question, I think they do a pretty good job.
God is still moving and teaching us things using the story of Abraham and Isaac but we aren't in a happy place and we certainly aren't in a place where we can say "God called us to do something crazy and it all worked out."
Here's what we do know. God definitely called us on this journey to adoption. We were comfortable before; we had the kids we wanted, they were "spaced" like we wanted, we had the life we wanted. And then God called. And suddenly the life we had was uncomfortable and incomplete because until we surrendered to his new call we were in disobedience. So surrender we did. Losing Isaac is not the end of the journey for us. It hurts and we are grieving but God didn't call us to "just give it a try." He called us to see this journey through to the end. If we view losing Isaac as God withholding the ram then we've lost sight of the sheer omnipotence He possesses. Did we think our time with Isaac would end like this? Absolutely not. I thought God would make a way that we would get to keep him. In my human-ness I thought I knew the mind of God. I'm humbled as I think of what God has for us as we continue down this road. He's taught me more in the last 24 hours about his holiness, about his character than maybe I've ever learned in my entire life.
We have to be careful as contemporary Christians, knowing the full story of Abraham and Isaac. We can't afford to read the story as simply a tale that no bad things will happen, that when we're asked to do the hard things God will change his mind when he sees we're obedient. Of course we can read it and see God's provision and his protection -- the ram in the bush is a beautiful parallel for us to Christ's sacrifice. But we also need to read it in light of Abraham's faithfulness. He didn't know the ram would be there. He didn't know the path his journey would take. But he knew he had to take it. That's where we are, Luke and I. We don't know where we're going but we know that the path has been laid before us. I also know, like Abraham, that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. That he has ordained this journey before he laid the foundations of the earth. While we were surprised that Isaac would have to leave, God wasn't. Which means he knows what lies ahead of us even though we can't see very far past our grief.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saying good-bye
Dear Friends,
This post comes to you from my very heavy heart. I'm not much into words tonight but I wanted to update you all on the latest situation with Isaac. We found out about lunchtime today that Isaac will be leaving our family sometime this weekend. He has a family who has passed his homestudy and will be given custody. As you think of us this week, would you pray for us? For God's healing and peace to be on us and for it to be palpable? We are all grieving -- even the boys.
Thanks,
The Pearson Family
This post comes to you from my very heavy heart. I'm not much into words tonight but I wanted to update you all on the latest situation with Isaac. We found out about lunchtime today that Isaac will be leaving our family sometime this weekend. He has a family who has passed his homestudy and will be given custody. As you think of us this week, would you pray for us? For God's healing and peace to be on us and for it to be palpable? We are all grieving -- even the boys.
Thanks,
The Pearson Family
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Talking in the bathroom
There it was, in red ink, staring me in the face -- evidence that Jack got another card change today. I hate those little red numbers. Today's offense? Talking in the bathroom. This is the second offense of this kind in a week, the third card change in that time. We draw a hard line in the House of Pearson, especially when it comes to behavior at school and church. Our rule: get in trouble at school, get in trouble at home. The infraction of the day means I'm sitting here trying to come up with an appropriate punishment. I'm at a loss. Oh don't get me wrong -- I have LOTS of punishments I can apply as appropriate sentencing for this crime. But it's really difficult to punish your child for something you don't really understand in the first place.
See I have two main issues with these bathroom-related card changes. First, both incidences were witnessed by another teacher. I'm not saying either teacher is lying or wrong but I do have to question if each has the same standards as Jack's teacher. Do these teachers not allow any talking at all while Mrs. M allows basic conversation but no playing? I don't know. Along that same line, as a teacher, I've always struggled giving consequences for behavior I didn't witness. Sure I'll talk to my kids about the behavior but I've always been a bit wary of applying punishment in that situation. Apparently Mrs. M doesn't share my line of thinking. That last bit isn't really an issue just a pedagogical difference that gets to me a little.
My other issue with the bathroom-related behavior is the expectation in general. Do these teachers really expect 5 year-olds to go to the bathroom, unsupervised, without saying a word to each other? Especially BOY 5 year-olds? Immediately after recess and lunch (when both of the infractions occurred)? I would never even expect my high school students to do that. I'm sure, somewhere, out there in bloggy-world, there is a mom whose 5 year old son would never talk in the bathroom if told not to and I'm sure there is a teacher whose kindergartners would never talk in the bathroom. But in my world that's just not a reality.
And so now I'm stuck. By definition of my own rule, Jack should get in trouble at home for getting in trouble at school. But how do you punish someone when you don't think they deserve it? I'm not sure I can NOT punish him only because of the message of inconsistency it sends. And in the I'm-smarter-than-you-so-I-don't-have-to-listen phase Jack's in, I don't think inconsistency is the best move right now ( as if inconsistency is ever a good parenting move...)
{sigh} I hate parenting days like today...
See I have two main issues with these bathroom-related card changes. First, both incidences were witnessed by another teacher. I'm not saying either teacher is lying or wrong but I do have to question if each has the same standards as Jack's teacher. Do these teachers not allow any talking at all while Mrs. M allows basic conversation but no playing? I don't know. Along that same line, as a teacher, I've always struggled giving consequences for behavior I didn't witness. Sure I'll talk to my kids about the behavior but I've always been a bit wary of applying punishment in that situation. Apparently Mrs. M doesn't share my line of thinking. That last bit isn't really an issue just a pedagogical difference that gets to me a little.
My other issue with the bathroom-related behavior is the expectation in general. Do these teachers really expect 5 year-olds to go to the bathroom, unsupervised, without saying a word to each other? Especially BOY 5 year-olds? Immediately after recess and lunch (when both of the infractions occurred)? I would never even expect my high school students to do that. I'm sure, somewhere, out there in bloggy-world, there is a mom whose 5 year old son would never talk in the bathroom if told not to and I'm sure there is a teacher whose kindergartners would never talk in the bathroom. But in my world that's just not a reality.
And so now I'm stuck. By definition of my own rule, Jack should get in trouble at home for getting in trouble at school. But how do you punish someone when you don't think they deserve it? I'm not sure I can NOT punish him only because of the message of inconsistency it sends. And in the I'm-smarter-than-you-so-I-don't-have-to-listen phase Jack's in, I don't think inconsistency is the best move right now ( as if inconsistency is ever a good parenting move...)
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